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How to rekindle your relationship

Being in a long-term relationship can result in taking each other for granted, not appreciating each other and losing the spark which brought you together.

In this article I am going to summarise a few key points that can make a huge difference if you wish to brighten up your relationship. If you realise that your relationship has become flat, it is time to start working on it to make it exciting again. Don’t expect magic overnight, but if both of you are willing to make an effort, a few minor changes will have a positive result very soon:

• Plan an exciting date regularly. I know it sounds very simple but having these dates doesn't only mean spending some time together, but you should also make sure you have some fun and have another unforgettable memory with your loved one. Avoid discussing everyday issues such as how to pay bills, or talking about your everyday worries which will immediately change the mood in an unpleasant way. This is the opportunity to go back in time when you were dating at the beginning of your relationship. Think of your first dates - you could talk for hours, laugh at even silly things and you always had a great time with your partner. Flirt and tease each other, have a laugh, forget about your problems and stay in the present. Concentrate on the positive characteristics of your partner and keep them in mind. Stress and everyday worries can make you overlook how great your loved one is. Before your date, remind yourself of all the good things you love about them. Your partner will feel this positive vibe even if you don’t tell them about it
• Find occasions to dress up and look your best. Your partner will appreciate your efforts and, this way, you will be able to impress each other again just the way you used to do in the beginning
• Try to learn someone new about your loved one. Even after knowing each other for many years, there could still be unexplored areas about the other one that can be fun to reveal. Surprise your partner; be unexpected and mysterious
• Avoid criticism. This is the time to enjoy each other’s company, therefore it should only be filled with positivity. If you criticise your partner, the great atmosphere will be destroyed immediately so keep in mind that you are both working on your relationship right now

During everyday life

• Sleep in the same bed and go to sleep at the same time. This may help you to stay connected. Always allow about 10 minutes each day for cuddling up, it helps with emotional connection. The more affection you have, the closer you get to each other. You don’t even have to talk; being physically close to each other will strengthen your relationship
• Refresh your sex life. This is one of the most important parts of any relationship. Having sex on a regular basis helps you feel attractive, so that you have the right self-image. Men need to feel desirable, just as women do. Make a wish list, write down all your desires and fantasies, and make sure you fulfil them together. This is exciting because you will be doing something new and you will also learn something about your partner’s wishes. Get some scented candles and new sheets; rearrange your bedroom to make it more sex-friendly
• Take care of your body. If you feel unattractive, you will lose your desire for intimacy. Losing this desire will make your partner feel unattractive, too, so you will begin an endless cycle. If you don’t do exercises regularly, you can start working out together. Join a health club or a yoga centre, eat more healthily and enjoy the benefits
• Always make an effort to spend quality time together. In this hectic life it is easy to ignore your loved one, and one seems to forget that a relationship needs to be looked after just like flowers do. Reserve time for your partner; write a list of great things to do together and make sure each activity becomes a reality. Taking a cooking class together is great fun, for example
• Change the scenario. Seeing your partner in new circumstances can help the relationship evolve. It is always great to get out of one’s comfort zone as it can be full of pleasant surprises
• Surprise your loved one with small gestures. It doesn’t have to be anything special; it's the thought that counts not the value. It will show your partner you still care about them and that will make them feel appreciated
• Don’t take each other for granted. Make sure you compliment your partner specifically, and say all the nice things that you used to say in the beginning. Work on improving their self-esteem as it is a key to having a successful relationship. Making a compliment in public or in front of others will make your partner feel very special and content
• Daily physical contact. Kissing each other whenever you say goodbye and meet again will help you to stay bonded
• Massage each other. There are some great one- or two-day massage workshops in London where you can have fun and learn something that is beneficial for both of you. Try tantric massage to spice up your sexual life
• Be apart from time to time. Spending some time apart can improve your relationship, as you have time to start to miss the other one and also realise how much they mean to you. This can add more excitement to your relationship as you both look forward to being together again
• Coping with stress. Stress is part of everyone’s life nowadays. The more stressed you are, the more it effects your relationship, as well as having a bad impact on different areas of your life. There are several ways to combat stress; try doing meditation, yoga or any regular exercises
• Focus on the present instead of over-analysing your relationship. Sometimes the best way to move forward is just to simply let things happen. Enjoy all the good times and let it happen

If you truly love each other, it is great to make an effort to rekindle your relationship. However, if your relationship is not rewarding for you anymore and you feel dissatisfied most of the time, it is perhaps time to move on and find your real soul mate.